Noodles N' Company
Might be a midwest-only restaurant, but fuck man, no matter what I eat there, I almost have to blow stop-lights in order to get home and fight my toilet. The shits I take from there make my ass yearn for some numbing medicine, goddamn does it burn, shooting out of my poop-chute like a FIRE HOSE!! Takes about 3/4 of a roll of asswipe to get my bunghole clean, and by that time it's so raw from wiping I see some blood on the last few pieces of paper. I love that restaurant though, all the evil shits I take don't make up for how delicious their food is!!! 